I got my continuous glucose monitor (cgm) and new pump last week, so I'm officially all hooked up with the latest and greatest in diabetes management. For those of you who don't know, the cgm is essentially a sensor that continuously tracks my blood sugar levels. It is a separate sight from where my pump infuses insulin, so now I have two separate "sites" on my abdomen. (I now really wish I had appreciated my pre-diabetes belly- a tummy without any scar tissue, infusion sites, or sensors attached to it. Hind sight is 20/20.)
When my boxes from mini-med arrived with my new pump and cgm, the kids and Luke were all excited to open them. "Aren't you excited?" Luke asked me. I wish I were. But in all honesty I wish I didn't have to bother with any of it. I wish I didn't have to worry about what my blood sugars were doing every five minutes and how much insulin I need. I wish there was a cure. I wish I was like everyone else, with a blackberry, I-phone, or a pager attached to my hip rather than an insulin pump and cgm.
The good news, insurance paid for the cgm. 100% covered. This is huge considering a little over a year ago I was paying for it out of pocket. (Not a cheap investment!) And more good news, according to my cgm, my blood sugars have been awesome. The bad news, there is some inaccuracy with the technology, and sometimes the number my cgm gives is way off from where my blood sugar actually is. So, there's lots of frustration in the new technology and figuring out how to use it. But I'm trying. I'm giving it all a chance, and hopefully I end up liking it rather than wanting to throw it out the window...
Monday, July 27, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Just in time
I was almost ready to throw in the towel. Call it quits. Give up. You see I'd been trying to keep my blood sugars under control. I'm running, training for a half marathon next month, I check my blood sugar often (usually at least 8 times a day), and I count my carbs, use my bolus wizard on my pump, all of it. Everything the doctors tell me, everything I know I should do after living with diabetes for the past twelve years. But still my blood sugars were just crazy. I even started doing basal rate checks (fasting and checking my blood sugar every two hours). But it felt like no matter what I did, my blood sugars were unpredictable, and unpredictably high. Not my normal post-meal high, or "explainable" highs, but random ones that were in the 300's even a few up into 400. I'd had it. The thought had crossed my mind... why even bother. I work so hard, and still I don't get it. There felt like no explanation. No reason for these high blood sugars and I was tired of trying with no success. Why bother with all of the work when it felt like it wasn’t helping?
Then a package arrived. The kids were excited, who was it for? What was in it? Unfortunately, for me, packages are no longer exciting. It's usually diabetes related supplies and more stuff to clutter up my closet. This time it was a mini-med box. I opened it up ready to find the usual boxes of infusion sets and pump reservoirs, but this time it was just one box of new infusion sets and a letter. I quickly read over the letter...
Medtronic Diabetes is recalling Quick-set infusion sets that have lot numbers starting with the number "8" These infusion sets are used with MiniMed Paradigm® insulin pumps. This decision was made because we estimate that a small percentage of "Lot 8" Quick-set infusion sets may not work properly.
I ran back to my stash of infusion sets... sure enough. I'd been using lot number 8! I continued reading...
Scenario 2 - Non-Delivery of Insulin
During priming, clogged vents may prevent the reservoir compartment from equalizing air pressure. As a result, the insulin pump may appear to be properly primed when it is not. Once the infusion set is inserted, this could lead to a period of non-delivery of insulin, which can potentially result in a hyperglycemic event following an infusion set change.
Since this occurs closely following an infusion set change, it may be different than the typical high blood sugars that many people experience as part of their routine diabetes management.
That was it! I hadn't been getting any insulin for periods of time because of this clogged vent. Finally an explanation. It wasn't my fault after all. In fact, it was totally out of my control. That's sometimes the trouble. This disease is so much about control, but there is so much out of my control, even when I'm doing my damnedest to manage it all. So, thank you mini-med for making it not my fault. Maybe next time I'll call and ask rather than trying to figure it all out on my own, and hopefully before I decide to just give up.
So I’ve sent back all my “lot 8” infusion sets, and things have been better. Not perfect, they never are, but better. And “managing” all this feels doable again.
Then a package arrived. The kids were excited, who was it for? What was in it? Unfortunately, for me, packages are no longer exciting. It's usually diabetes related supplies and more stuff to clutter up my closet. This time it was a mini-med box. I opened it up ready to find the usual boxes of infusion sets and pump reservoirs, but this time it was just one box of new infusion sets and a letter. I quickly read over the letter...
Medtronic Diabetes is recalling Quick-set infusion sets that have lot numbers starting with the number "8" These infusion sets are used with MiniMed Paradigm® insulin pumps. This decision was made because we estimate that a small percentage of "Lot 8" Quick-set infusion sets may not work properly.
I ran back to my stash of infusion sets... sure enough. I'd been using lot number 8! I continued reading...
Scenario 2 - Non-Delivery of Insulin
During priming, clogged vents may prevent the reservoir compartment from equalizing air pressure. As a result, the insulin pump may appear to be properly primed when it is not. Once the infusion set is inserted, this could lead to a period of non-delivery of insulin, which can potentially result in a hyperglycemic event following an infusion set change.
Since this occurs closely following an infusion set change, it may be different than the typical high blood sugars that many people experience as part of their routine diabetes management.
That was it! I hadn't been getting any insulin for periods of time because of this clogged vent. Finally an explanation. It wasn't my fault after all. In fact, it was totally out of my control. That's sometimes the trouble. This disease is so much about control, but there is so much out of my control, even when I'm doing my damnedest to manage it all. So, thank you mini-med for making it not my fault. Maybe next time I'll call and ask rather than trying to figure it all out on my own, and hopefully before I decide to just give up.
So I’ve sent back all my “lot 8” infusion sets, and things have been better. Not perfect, they never are, but better. And “managing” all this feels doable again.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Da Bus
I surrender. Apparently VWs are going to be a part of my life. You’d think I’d have figured this out before I married Luke, before the frantic phone call about the $500 bus on Craig’s List. But it wasn’t until the broken-down rusty bus was actually delivered and dropped in our driveway (by a tow truck) that I realized these automobiles are probably going to continue to be a part of my life.
Maybe it all started with my dad. He bought a VW bus to drive out to California for college, and somehow convinced my mom that she should come with him to attend school at UCSD. It was a long drive from St. Louis, Missouri, to La Jolla, California, and along the way they fell in love. So, I suppose it could be argued that maybe I wouldn't even exist if it weren't for that 1970 VW hippie bus. (A little romantic I suppose.)
That bus wouldn't be the last for my parents. When my brother was born, making us a family of six, it was time for a new car that would actually fit all of us. They purchased our VW vanagon. It was the car on which I would later learn to drive. (Let me tell you learning to drive a stick shift red vanagon through town was a bit of a challenge for a brand new driver! It was hard to stay inconspicuous.) As a teenager I would pack that van full of friends and drive to parties, dances, band shows... I still have a special place for that car in my heart.
Then Christmas morning. I was 16, and after all the presents were opened, my dad picked up a small box I hadn’t noticed. It was wrapped up and sitting on top of the mantel. In it was a single key with the VW emblem on it. I went running outside and sitting in the driveway was my 1967 VW bug with a big red bow on it. It was my first car, and I was in love. It had it’s issues, a horn that would get stuck, or just beep if I drove over a bump, but that was all part of the car's personality.
Then Luke also drove a VW bug. His was white, and a year older, but our bugs are tied up in the memories of the beginning of our love story.
Fast-forward to summer after my freshman year at UC Santa Cruz. Luke bought his first VW bus. It was a “project” (to say the least). But after lots of work, the bus ran, and it was cool. (Literally, it was cool. Winter nights up in Santa Cruz driving in the bus with the air that seeped through the old windows and doors... it was cold.) But he loved that car, and okay, I have to admit I kinda liked it too.
So fast forward 10 years and Luke is talking again about his bus and how much he enjoyed it. I should have known it was coming. He had been helping a buddy work on his bus, and had gone to a VW show... and well I should have known it was only a matter of time. But we have three kids (5 and under!), so needless to say, spare time and extra money are things that are hard to come by these days.
But still, when he called to ask me about buying the 1965 bus that didn’t run, and needed “some work,” I was surprised. Honestly, I thought he'd think through it and change his mind. I mean another thing in our garage?! (It's already overflowing with our tent-trailer, strollers, bins of baby clothes, tools everywhere, bikes, outgrown toys, and the laundry, ahh the laundry...) Not to mention the precious time and money this “investment” was going to require. So you can probably imagine my response.
But Luke was excited about it, and had a vision of what the bus "could be." And for some reason I just couldn't say no. So, two days later the bus was dropped off in our driveway. (It has since been moved into our garage, a miracle in itself considering the lack of space in our garage, and the fact that the bus doesn't run and has no brakes.)
But it's growing on me. I see the kids playing in it, Luke studying his owner manuals, his excitement when he talks about it, and for some reason I think it will all work out. Because for whatever reason, VWs seem to keep presenting themselves, and so far they have brought only love and fond memories into my life...
A photo montage of the VWs...
My dad with his bus.
My mom camping during the drive out to California with my dad. (1973)
Me in our family's vanagon getting ready to drive Luke, me, and a group of friends to Luke's senior prom. (1995)
My bug on Christmas morning. I had to drive it over to each of my friends' houses. (1993)
Luke's 1966 bug.
Me and Luke with his first bus. We were 19 and 20, and the photo was taken before Luke left to drive up to UCSC. (This was probably one of the last photos of me before my diagnosis of diabetes that would come two months later.) (1997)
And the newest VW... in all her glory!
Maybe it all started with my dad. He bought a VW bus to drive out to California for college, and somehow convinced my mom that she should come with him to attend school at UCSD. It was a long drive from St. Louis, Missouri, to La Jolla, California, and along the way they fell in love. So, I suppose it could be argued that maybe I wouldn't even exist if it weren't for that 1970 VW hippie bus. (A little romantic I suppose.)
That bus wouldn't be the last for my parents. When my brother was born, making us a family of six, it was time for a new car that would actually fit all of us. They purchased our VW vanagon. It was the car on which I would later learn to drive. (Let me tell you learning to drive a stick shift red vanagon through town was a bit of a challenge for a brand new driver! It was hard to stay inconspicuous.) As a teenager I would pack that van full of friends and drive to parties, dances, band shows... I still have a special place for that car in my heart.
Then Christmas morning. I was 16, and after all the presents were opened, my dad picked up a small box I hadn’t noticed. It was wrapped up and sitting on top of the mantel. In it was a single key with the VW emblem on it. I went running outside and sitting in the driveway was my 1967 VW bug with a big red bow on it. It was my first car, and I was in love. It had it’s issues, a horn that would get stuck, or just beep if I drove over a bump, but that was all part of the car's personality.
Then Luke also drove a VW bug. His was white, and a year older, but our bugs are tied up in the memories of the beginning of our love story.
Fast-forward to summer after my freshman year at UC Santa Cruz. Luke bought his first VW bus. It was a “project” (to say the least). But after lots of work, the bus ran, and it was cool. (Literally, it was cool. Winter nights up in Santa Cruz driving in the bus with the air that seeped through the old windows and doors... it was cold.) But he loved that car, and okay, I have to admit I kinda liked it too.
So fast forward 10 years and Luke is talking again about his bus and how much he enjoyed it. I should have known it was coming. He had been helping a buddy work on his bus, and had gone to a VW show... and well I should have known it was only a matter of time. But we have three kids (5 and under!), so needless to say, spare time and extra money are things that are hard to come by these days.
But still, when he called to ask me about buying the 1965 bus that didn’t run, and needed “some work,” I was surprised. Honestly, I thought he'd think through it and change his mind. I mean another thing in our garage?! (It's already overflowing with our tent-trailer, strollers, bins of baby clothes, tools everywhere, bikes, outgrown toys, and the laundry, ahh the laundry...) Not to mention the precious time and money this “investment” was going to require. So you can probably imagine my response.
But Luke was excited about it, and had a vision of what the bus "could be." And for some reason I just couldn't say no. So, two days later the bus was dropped off in our driveway. (It has since been moved into our garage, a miracle in itself considering the lack of space in our garage, and the fact that the bus doesn't run and has no brakes.)
But it's growing on me. I see the kids playing in it, Luke studying his owner manuals, his excitement when he talks about it, and for some reason I think it will all work out. Because for whatever reason, VWs seem to keep presenting themselves, and so far they have brought only love and fond memories into my life...
A photo montage of the VWs...
My dad with his bus.
My mom camping during the drive out to California with my dad. (1973)
Me in our family's vanagon getting ready to drive Luke, me, and a group of friends to Luke's senior prom. (1995)
My bug on Christmas morning. I had to drive it over to each of my friends' houses. (1993)
Luke's 1966 bug.
Me and Luke with his first bus. We were 19 and 20, and the photo was taken before Luke left to drive up to UCSC. (This was probably one of the last photos of me before my diagnosis of diabetes that would come two months later.) (1997)
And the newest VW... in all her glory!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Lots to be grateful for...
Things have been crazy...
We took a trip to Children's ER with Evan who is fine, but gave me a good scare. A sore knee that he wouldn't walk on is from a virus he had a few weeks ago (they think). But the doctors were worried about a possible blood infection that could get into his bones. Yikes! Enough to scare me. Anyway, he's fine. Just watching him to be sure the pain doesn't return and he doesn't get any fever and/or redness/swelling on his knee. He had to have 6 x-rays done and a blood draw and he didn't shed a tear. Sweet, sweet boy and so brave for a three year old.
Poor baby Jake was sick with a chest cold. We made two trips to the doctor. He had low oxygen levels, four breathing treatments, antibiotics for an ear infection, and he's finally better. Such a trooper.
Then Aliya who just had sympathy pains for her brothers. I think she just wanted some of the attention, but would complain about her "bad cough" and "hurt leg." No doctor visits necessary, she was cured with some extra lovin' and lots of hugs and kisses.
But still, even with all this, I'm feeling lucky. I have three wonderful kids and amongst the doctor and ER visits we've had some wonderful summer days so far...
Aliya and Evan both started summer school at their preschool. Evan was so excited about going to "Sister's School." He gave us a hug and a kiss and was off to play with all his friends and new toys.
So, I feel blessed. I was reminded today about how lucky I am to have my three healthy kids. Although I don't like to focus on it, having diabetes and being pregnant is a high risk, and the truth is the statistics and stories of women who haven't been as fortunate as me exist. And so today I'll give my kids an extra hug and kiss because I'm lucky to have them.
We took a trip to Children's ER with Evan who is fine, but gave me a good scare. A sore knee that he wouldn't walk on is from a virus he had a few weeks ago (they think). But the doctors were worried about a possible blood infection that could get into his bones. Yikes! Enough to scare me. Anyway, he's fine. Just watching him to be sure the pain doesn't return and he doesn't get any fever and/or redness/swelling on his knee. He had to have 6 x-rays done and a blood draw and he didn't shed a tear. Sweet, sweet boy and so brave for a three year old.
Poor baby Jake was sick with a chest cold. We made two trips to the doctor. He had low oxygen levels, four breathing treatments, antibiotics for an ear infection, and he's finally better. Such a trooper.
Then Aliya who just had sympathy pains for her brothers. I think she just wanted some of the attention, but would complain about her "bad cough" and "hurt leg." No doctor visits necessary, she was cured with some extra lovin' and lots of hugs and kisses.
But still, even with all this, I'm feeling lucky. I have three wonderful kids and amongst the doctor and ER visits we've had some wonderful summer days so far...
Aliya and Evan both started summer school at their preschool. Evan was so excited about going to "Sister's School." He gave us a hug and a kiss and was off to play with all his friends and new toys.
So, I feel blessed. I was reminded today about how lucky I am to have my three healthy kids. Although I don't like to focus on it, having diabetes and being pregnant is a high risk, and the truth is the statistics and stories of women who haven't been as fortunate as me exist. And so today I'll give my kids an extra hug and kiss because I'm lucky to have them.
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